Saturday, 4 January 2014

My favourite things ... (boots)

Alas pink wellies! (sniff), I loved you well. 

I bought the pink wellies in one of my MILFier moments. Seeing that they had adult sizes of the charming pink wellies with a ribbon which I was about to buy for Piglet, I bought a pair so we could match each other . (Looking back, I realise they were probably larger children's wellies not in fact adult ones, LOL.) What I failed to remember was that Piglet would grow out of her pink wellies; and I would be stuck wearing mine for several years looking like someone who thinks pink wellies with a ribbon are chic. 

I wore them on the school run and for muddy walks in the Valleys meditating on werewolves. I wore them to the beach in winter so I could still wade in the waves. I wore them while cycling and shopping. Sometimes I surreptitiously slipped them off if I was in the wifi cafe all day long.

OK, I admit it. I LOVED THEM! About six months ago when they sprang a leak, I was devastated. I tried wearing a plastic bag in the one with a hole but my foot still got wet. (I don't know why this happens. It's one of those weird anomalies in physics which will be discovered by a man one day and get an important name .)

I looked casually then frantically round the shops for a cheap and cheerful replacement. All wellies were horribly expensive and/or horrible. 

Before the pink wellies, I had Hunters. They were gorgeous and I LOVED THEM. So did lots of other people. I was once pushing a quite large strapping Piglet in her pushchair along the station platform, hung about with buckets and spades and a picnic basket, wearing old and tatty beach-going clothes. "Nice boots," said a young man appreciatively, in a tone that suggested he had not fully grasped my exhausted expression, hardly indicating I would wish to indulge in further piglet-producing activity. 

Anyway, I don't know why, but I had got it into my head that they would have nice wellies in Tescos. I tried several times to go to the nearby Tesco superstore but it's not part of my normal shopping routine and my efforts were stymied. Finally I managed to get down there and indeed there was the perfect pair of wellies ... and they still had them in my size! Just look at these, they are totally the thing. Hopefully I will get some old gentleman saying: "Now, my proud beauty, I have you in my power," (tee hee hee!) instead of some ignorant young thing going: "Nice boots." (Puh.) 

What is most hilarious about these wellies is that I bought the leather version a few months ago. (That pair was of course considerably more expensive.) I have always wanted a pair of brown-topped black boots and suddenly they're in fashion this year. Only the other day I sniggered to myself on walking past some young kitten who had a cheap imitation pair - and considerably worse skin than me too! tee hee hee. If only I had realised that a patent plastic pair was readily available in Tescos for a tenth of the price. (No no, dahlinks, I would have bought the boot-iful (ho ho) leather ones anyway, I like the real deal - wink.)

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