Saturday, 23 November 2013

Curiosity Nearly Kills the Kitten

To boldly go! ... and she nearly did.
Well, dahlinks. I actually liked this picture because of the colours. The flash lighting made the kitten and the washing machine all silvers and blue-ish. There was a sort of hilarious space age character to it.

I posted it on Facebook and my friends went: Oooh, be careful! we know people who lost their cat when it snugged up in the nice warm tumble drier. 'N I was like, "Gah! I am a hard-line eco-MILF. I do not have a tumble drier! I use the sun and the wind and my Brabantia rotary drier ... and cubs with only their jeans on :devil: (shake those buns, get that laundry out there!)"

Well ... yesterday most unusually I drank a beer. I had found this beer lying around when I came back from the burlesque and the Baron had had a baronial friend round to console him for having to do his once-a-year piglet-minding. The friend had of course brought bottles and bottles of the stuff with him. This beer was Marston's Old Empire, which I know and love and I felt it needed the full appreciation of an expert on postcolonial politics so I moved it from the fridge to the cupboard full of cooking sauces. I mean, of course if some Baron happened to find it in there while cooking , he might drink it up, but I was pretty sure it would be safe.

Man of the match Luke Charteris gets 
a cuddle from a Tongan forward.
 Pic from BBC

So-o-o, I had the beer, while watching a lacklustre Wales v. Tonga rugby match (nice bums on those Tongan forwards er ... I mean what excellent scrummaging) and doing the ironing. Then I shoved a load of laundry in and pottered about doing washing up. I kept hearing this strange banging sound, and I was puzzled cuz I know the neighbour's sons are too naff to have got themselves girlfriends.

Now I am acksherly a very careful MILF even when I have had a beer, so I was already checking around the house in a surely-not kind of way to make sure the kitten was larking about on the stairs or something. I could still hear this strange banging so I went and glanced at the washing machine. OMG! Imagine my emotions when a little tabby face peered out of the glass door at me! Je-esus H!

That silly thing was wringing wet when she came out! Lucky I am overly cautious about kittens n' piglets and was keeping my eye out even though I thought it was impossible she would ever get stuck in there, so the wash cycle was still at an early stage.

No, there will be no pix of dripping wet pussy on here!
Pic taken today. Don't worry, 
johneb87. See, she is fine.

Gah, the poor little beast was shivering and soaking wet. I had to rub her down with towels, then Mama Cat pitched in and gave her a nice licking. I gave her some chicken and kitten milk. Ummmm, OK, it was best breast of chicken - but that was all I had! apart from chicken nuggets - yuck, I would not feed that rubbish to my cat! I only keep them for Piglet. I put a hot water bottle in the kitten's little 'bedroom' she has made for herself on the bottom shelf of the linen cupboard, and a snuggy clean cat blanket, and she came in to me for a little snuggle too. (Ordinarily I ban the cats my bedroom, as I do not wish them to think they can bring their furry or froggy little friends around for a party in the night.)

Well! the kitten is a typical teenager, and I was wondering about giving her a wash - cuz she was kinda smelly and I do think it is important to keep your pussy clean. Still, that wasn't how I meant to do it.

Far from learning from her experience, she jumped up on the counter and started sniffing at the cooker on which I was frying some sausages. I suppose that instead of bejazzling, kittens these days are into frazzling their whiskers . She is fine, although she did seem quieter than usual - it's the shock, I expect. In the evening she snuggled up on to my bosom for a lo-o-ong snooze while we all watched Doctor Who. He is 50 like me! but without cleavage (wink). 

Pass that whisky, who said you could put it away yet? The whiskers are not the only things frazzled round here, y'know! I acksherly broke a fingernail trying to get the washing machine door open! that's how upset I was. Gah, as I took the wash out the machine this morning to hang it on the line, I could not repress a shudder! I swear, if I was not already becoming a silver foxy lady, the cat and kitten would be turning me gray. (I love the way Americans spell grey .)

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